Fear of Falling
June 20, 2012
Celia fell on Monday and hit her head. Once again, an ambulance came to take her away. Left behind, Alice worries and wonders, just as she did last week when Celia was rushed off in an ambulance. (See Strange Aches.)
So I called all the hospitals today and finally found her. “I don’t know what happened,” Celia said. “”I fell in the living room and woke up and I put my hand up to my head and blood was pouring out. And now here I am. I don’t know if I’ll ever get back.” Her voice sounded young and frightened, like that of a girl trapped in a tower far from home.
“Now I have a hole in my head,” she joked. Both of us tried to laugh, but it didn’t quite work.
I asked if she’d had an MRI and CT scan. She said she’d had both, but she didn’t know the results. The more she described the injury to me — the suddenness of the fall, the confusion on waking up, the blood and fear, the bandage now wrapped all the way around her head and another on her wrist — the more terrible this accident began to sound. I took notes but mentally weeded out what I would and would not tell Alice.
For Celia, the worst part was that she didn’t have her dentures with her. “They’re in the container next to the sink,” she told me. “I didn’t have a chance to put them in.” Not only does their absence make her feel more vulnerable, it’s also difficult for her to eat. I promised I’d call The Place to see what could be done.
Celia takes a lot of meds, so she thought this could have been the cause of her falling. “Sometimes everything goes black.”
Alice has reported these other falls to me, how Celia appears at the dining room table with some part of her body or face black and blue.
Or, possibly, this particular fall was caused by a stroke. We didn’t discuss that. (On the back of one of the bills Alice gave me to pay last week, she had listed a few Celia’s health issues, both recent and ongoing: “Pneumonia, Asthma, Bronchitis, Hole in Windpipe, Thrush, Congestive Heart Failure.”)
Celia is a meek patient and does not ask questions. Her three adult children in their fifties and sixties are useless. “They live too far away,” she told me, excusing them, but I know that one lives within half an hour of The Place and about the same distance from the hospital where Celia is a patient.
I told her Alice can’t wait for the day when she’ll be back in her chair, across the dining room table.
Again, she expressed fear about the possibility she may never get back. Then she added, “I miss her. Tell her. Tell her Hi from me.”
Fifty per cent of people over 80 suffer falls each year. This website is informative and raises awareness.
The environment the elder is in, accidents, and medications all play a role, as do gait and balance issues. Any elder (Elders R US – anybody reading this who is over 65, the age when falls start to happen) who is not taking time to address gait and balance, please check out these simple exercises, and please seriously consider yoga, Pilates, Tai Chi, dance, and other balance classes. Let’s stay upright for as long as we can. The alternative hurts, causes friends to disappear for long spells while they heal in hospitals and nursing homes, and, incidentally, costs the health system about $20,000 per fall.
In case you have been living in a cave (or avoiding this video, which, quite truthfully, I have been doing), you might take a moment to imagine Niagara Falls as Old Age (and then just get on with it). And, by the way, Alice watched this on the day it happened and pronounced the stunt “ridiculous,” adding, “What is wrong with that fellow?”
June 20, 2012 at 2:40 pm
Hi Andrea! I’ve chosen you as a recipient for the Beautiful Blogger Award. Please visit my blog to download the award for your site, and for the rules (not everyone follows ALL the rules).
http://redcrested.wordpress.com/2012/06/20/beautiful-blogger-award/
June 22, 2012 at 11:10 am
Sandra, thank you for this. I am overwhelmed with one thing and another at the moment, but will get back to you.
June 20, 2012 at 3:23 pm
“I don’t know if I’ll ever get back.” That is one of the all time lines from your posts. And we never do. Get back, that is. We go forward with what happened and that is certainly the aging process as well as ‘getting older’ in the more traditional sense is…aging as in coming to ripeness. It is summer solstice again today, a beautiful day here in our Portland, and I am thinking about the cycle of life, big life not just human life. Earth life. The wheels really do just keep going round and round, as our friend John famously mused. You are a dear friend to so many, Andrea. Thank you for reaching out past the barriers of hospital administration to connect with Celia, to support her and to be able to soothe Alice. The link to exercises for balance and the suggestions you give are perfect. Continuing to move in our bodies, hearts, minds, emotions, and souls is essential. I am loving you right now even more than usual!
June 22, 2012 at 11:11 am
Thank you, Pilates teacher. I know you’ll keep on doing what you’re doing, which is good for everybody in your world.
June 20, 2012 at 6:12 pm
Love your blog – At 69 I’m well on my way over Niagara Falls, blogged about it myself last week: my “Wake Up Fall” headlong onto the porch. Best I up my yoga to 3 times a week.
June 22, 2012 at 11:13 am
Hannah, I read about your fall last week (and saw the sad photograph) Woe is you! I hope three yoga classes a week keep you standing tall. And thank you for coming to visit Alice’s world.
June 20, 2012 at 8:05 pm
I agree with Alice… what is wrong with that fellow? Really? A tightrope across The Falls? Why?
I worry about my mom falling… though, my mom seems to fall less the older she gets. When she was in her 60s and 70s, she was always battered and bruised from a fall, though, her falls tended to be from not paying attention to where she was walking, rather than balance.
Sending well wishes to Celia. ….and, to Alice, of course. Tell her that her Penguin friends said hello.
June 22, 2012 at 11:14 am
That’s right. Why????
Thank you for the good wishes. I’ll pass them along. The little tribe of penguins is quite dozy together on top of the fridge (with certain standout members, of course).
June 21, 2012 at 4:05 am
My mom fell twice in the last 2 weeks of her life and that is basically what caused her final descent. Another issue with the elderly is that they don’t drink enough fluids and that also causes dizziness and many falls. We tried so hard to get my mom to drink more fluids but she was very stubborn and would only take sips when we were watching. She loved ice tea all her life but I couldn’t even get her to drink more than a half glass in her final months. Oh hum…
I wonder if you would be able to take Alice to visit her friend while she’s in the hospital or would that further upset both of them?
June 22, 2012 at 11:17 am
I’m sorry to hear that, Nancy. So often we hear that falls trigger so many other issues. And fluids are key, you’re right. Alice is finally into the water habit, with a glass by her side at all times.
Alice does not want to go to the hospital, and I can understand why. Once we get there, it is a very long trek to get to visit anyone. She is nearly 97, and walking down those long hallways is now out of the question. I could get a wheelchair, but she doesn’t want that. Actually, I think it would make her sad to go, and it would probably make Celia sad too. If Celia doesn’t get to move back, then we’ll go see her, wherever she is, I’m sure.
June 21, 2012 at 6:49 am
I worry about Alice, and Celia, my mom – and me too – falling, not getting back – but I’m very thankful there are people like you, Andrea, with heart & caring, watching out and spreading wise words – when one falls, another helps them up – that’s how we go forward together, one step at a time…
June 22, 2012 at 11:19 am
Thank you for this, Kerry. Forward together, one step at a time.
June 21, 2012 at 9:06 am
My dad (who is 79) told his doctor that he was losing his balance, especially going up and down stairs. His doctor told him that people don’t actually lose their sense of balance. What happens, he said, is that as people lose muscle strength–especially core strength–they can’t catch themselves like they did when they were younger. He said the solution is more exercise. So my dad hauled out the exer-cycle and began riding 45 minutes a day. Within a few weeks, he said, the sense of precariousness he’d had was completely gone, and everything was back to normal.
Since he told me that, I’ve found that when I’m diligent with my pilates I run into a lot fewer doorjambs.
I’m so glad you brought this up, Andrea. Celia must have been so relieved and happy you checked in with her. I hope she’s doing better and that she got her dentures, and that she is back with Alice before long.
June 22, 2012 at 11:23 am
Wise doctor.
79 sounds so very young! I hope your father continues to be active and balanced and unafraid to move.
I called The Place and finally tracked down the person who held rein over the fate of Celia’s teeth. I said I’d be willing to take the dentures to her if no family member could bring themselves to step up. It turned out this shaming method worked. Within the hour, her grandson took them to her.
June 30, 2012 at 7:08 am
Andrea, what a week you and Alice have had. I am sorry about your friend, Eleanor, and Alice’s friend Celia. Life is a challenge some days, isn’t it. Keep up the good fight, both of you! gin