Royal Mix-Up

July 24, 2013

Last night Alice called to tell me that she’s happy the new royal baby finally has a name.

royal baby

“Really?” I hadn’t heard anything about this, but then I hadn’t been listening to the news. Off and on all day, Alice watches CNN and sometimes (sad to say) Fox News. “What did they name him?” I asked.

“Carlos.”

My brain scurried back through the history of the English people for a Spanish connection. All I could come up with were these two:

Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain.

Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain

Sponsors of this person:

Christopher Columbus

Christopher Columbus

And, besides that, parents of this one:

Catherine of Aragon.

Catherine of Aragon

Who got tangled up with this guy:

Henry VIII.

Henry VIII

And then got dumped because of her:

Anne Boleyn

Anne Boleyn

Who, unfortunately, couldn’t outsmart the wolf who roamed the royal palace, sniffing out trouble:

Thomas Cromwell

Thomas Cromwell

Though he could not outsmart this one:

Hilary Mantel

Hilary Mantel

Author of these fascinating books about the whole lot of them, especially the wolf:Wolf HallBring Up the Bodies

“That’s nice,” I said to Alice as I sat on my deck in a cool breeze, watching the river go by, feeling summerly and generous toward royal babies, Spanish-speaking English queens, a certain insane Tudor personage, selfish, naughty girls who flirt with kings, and, as always, writers. “I’ll have to see what the story is.”

I turned on the television set only to discover that the Carlos of the day was, in fact, this sad excuse for a father and husband:

Anthony Weiner

Anthony Weiner

Who sexted under the name of Carlos Danger, the actual name of a real psychiatrist in Miami. (Photo unavailable.)

I called Alice back and told her all of this and explained that the real royal baby as yet has no name. She laughed and laughed. “I get things mixed up sometimes,” she said.

It was fun to hear her laugh.

For more Alice mix-ups, see:

Mix-Ups

More Mix-Ups

Mix-Ups (continued)

And if you have a moment, read this funny piece by Tim Elfrink, editor of the Miami New Times, who wrote yesterday in his blog about Anthony Weiner and the real Carlos Danger.

18 Responses to “Royal Mix-Up”


  1. As my old writing mentor once said, “You just can’t make that shit up.”

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  2. this was delightful- reminded me of the tone of The Riverhouse Stories, esp. the part where you are sitting on the deck watching the river flow & feeling generous “toward royal babies, Spanish-speaking English queens, a certain insane Tudor personage, selfish, naughty girls who flirt with kings, and, as always, writers….” We writers need all the good thoughts you can send! Just watch out for stray dream Vikings in the water! (They can surprise you at any moment!)

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  3. Sue Rosoff Says:

    great!! AND here’s another Carlos story from the questionable state of Florida! http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2013/07/former_mayor_carlos_alvarez_de.php

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  4. Vanessa Says:

    That Alice, what a card. It’s good to know people who can still laugh at themselves.

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  5. Katharine Says:

    What if they DID name the child “Carlos”? Wouldn’t that be an interesting turn of events?

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  6. Meg Glaser Says:

    What a big mix up indeed, but loved that you gave it your all to try to make sense of Carlos. So glad that it brought some hearty laughter into Alice’s day, and ours. Thanks!

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  7. melissa Says:

    Thank you Andrea for always making me laugh. I always enjoy the way you weave so much into one post. The mix ups are always my favorites because I create so many myself!

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  8. OMG. Funny. My mom reads 3 different newspapers on my iPad everyday. A Lot of things get mixed up.

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  9. Carlos? LOL! My daughter is very happy that the baby has been names George as she was afraid the Royal couple might pinch the name she and her partner have chosen for their expected baby (Arthur). A big sigh of relief when the name was actually announced! :-)

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