Hugh Hefner Found!
February 15, 2014
Since Alice is no longer able to read for any extended period of time, she sits and thinks a lot. She often finds herself curious about whatever happened to various movie stars and other celebrities. She’s amazed that as soon as she thinks of someone she hasn’t seen in a while, they then appear in the news or on a TV program. She’s beginning to believe she’s psychic. (For details, see the last post, Where’s Hugh?).
Meg’s here for a few days, and we decided to fuel this belief Alice has in her own psychic abilities by finding Hugh Hefner in the form of a newspaper clipping, conveniently written in large print.
We headed over to Alice’s.
First we gave her a long-stemmed red rose, cards, and candy. She read the cards carefully with her new magnifying glass. It has a light in it. Even so, she still needs her extra-bright lamp to see things.
Then we told her we’d come across a newspaper article we thought might be of interest to her.
This is what our article on Hugh Hefner said:
The Oregonian—February 14, 2014
Hugh Hefner Found!
Hugh Hefner, missing for some time, was recently sighted at an assisted living center in Portland, Oregon. He was discovered in the company of a woman known as the Gown Lady. The attraction may be in their similar ways of dressing.
The Gown Lady rang for medical aid on Valentine’s Day eve with a request for a jumbo container of Viagra. This caused a murmur of suspicion in the Med Aide office, and a team was dispatched to the Gown Lady’s apartment to investigate. She admitted that the magazine executive was a non-paying guest and asked for privacy.
“Not many of the residents here know that I was Playmate of the Year in 1959,” she said, “and I would just as soon keep that out of the monthly newsletter. And by the way, Hugh gave me an enormous diamond engagement ring for Valentine’s Day.”
Mr. Fickle, who was interviewed on this matter at lunchtime, expressed concern that Mr. Hefner would be a rival for the affections of other female residents.
When told the news that Hugh Hefner is now residing at The Place, Alice, in apartment 108, expressed no surprise. “I knew he was hiding out somewhere. It was just a matter of time before the old wolf circled back to find one of his former bunnies. I don’t believe the marriage will last.”
Asked if he planned to become a permanent resident, Mr. Hefner replied, “I’m always looking for ways to add more broccoli to my diet, so I believe this could be The Place for me.”
Alice picked up her magnifier and began to read. Here’s a visual rundown of her reactions.
He’s in Portland with the Gown Lady? This was starting to sound a little too close to home.
Yes, we did.
Alice also received a beautiful little metal heart from Meg’s sister, Susan. You can see it in the photographs above. (Thank you, Susan!) I got one too, so we have matching hearts. Alice’s real heart turned out to be big enough to forgive us kids for making stuff up.
We hope you had fun on Valentine’s Day, too.