Hugh Hefner Found!

February 15, 2014

Since Alice is no longer able to read for any extended period of time, she sits and thinks a lot. She often finds herself curious about whatever happened to various movie stars and other celebrities. She’s amazed that as soon as she thinks of someone she hasn’t seen in a while, they then appear in the news or on a TV program. She’s beginning to believe she’s psychic. (For details, see the last post, Where’s Hugh?).

Meg’s here for a few days, and we decided to fuel this belief Alice has in her own psychic abilities by finding Hugh Hefner in the form of a newspaper clipping, conveniently written in large print.

Hugh's latest escapades.

Hugh’s latest escapades, Page One.

We headed over to Alice’s.

First we gave her a long-stemmed red rose, cards, and candy.  She read the cards carefully with her new magnifying glass. It has a light in it. Even so, she still needs her extra-bright lamp to see things.IMG_1309

Then we told her we’d come across a newspaper article we thought might be of interest to her.

This is what our article on Hugh Hefner said:

The Oregonian—February 14, 2014
Hugh Hefner Found!

Hugh Hefner, missing for some time, was recently sighted at an assisted living center in Portland, Oregon. He was discovered in the company of a woman known as the Gown Lady.  The attraction may be in their similar ways of dressing.

The Gown Lady rang for medical aid on Valentine’s Day eve with a request for a jumbo container of Viagra.  This caused a murmur of suspicion in the Med Aide office, and a team was dispatched to the Gown Lady’s apartment to investigate. She admitted that the magazine executive was a non-paying guest and asked for privacy.

“Not many of the residents here know that I was Playmate of the Year in 1959,” she said, “and I would just as soon keep that out of the monthly newsletter. And by the way, Hugh gave me an enormous diamond engagement ring for Valentine’s Day.”

Mr. Fickle, who was interviewed on this matter at lunchtime, expressed concern that Mr. Hefner would be a rival for the affections of other female residents.

When told the news that Hugh Hefner is now residing at The Place, Alice, in apartment 108, expressed no surprise. “I knew he was hiding out somewhere. It was just a matter of time before the old wolf circled back to find one of his former bunnies. I don’t believe the marriage will last.”

Asked if he planned to become a permanent resident, Mr. Hefner replied,  “I’m always looking for ways to add more broccoli to my diet, so I believe this could be The Place for me.”

Alice picked up her magnifier and began to read. Here’s a visual rundown of her reactions.

Alice_Hefner1At first she was taken with the fact that she was right about herself: psychic! Why here, only a few days ago, she’d been wondering, and now…

Alice_Hefner5He’s in Portland with the Gown Lady?  This was starting to sound a little too close to home.

Alice_Hugh HefnerMr. Fickle interviewed!

Alice_Hugh Hefner4Alice in Apartment 108 says what?

Alice_Hefner6All done. Here I thought I was going to find out all about Hugh Hefner and you kids just made all that up!

Yes, we did.

Alice also received a beautiful little metal heart from Meg’s sister, Susan. You can see it in the photographs above. (Thank you, Susan!) I got one too, so we have matching hearts. Alice’s real heart turned out to be big enough to forgive us kids for making stuff up.

We hope you had fun on Valentine’s Day, too.

41 Responses to “Hugh Hefner Found!”

  1. Great story. It is in our imaginations that we stay as young or old as we want to be on any given day. Most days I imagine myself to be just the right age for the day, not sure of the number.


  2. Delightful! Hope you kids keep making stuff up for a long long time…


  3. Bonnie Belatti Says:

    Oh, so funny!!! You made me laugh. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your Mom.

    Love, Bon


  4. What a fun thing to do! I bet she is still chuckling over it.


  5. Katharine Says:

    and so are we …. all your fans … chuckling away. I hope there are people to around to tickle my sense of humor so wickedly when I’m 98. Would love to think so.


  6. I hope I have this much play in my life when I’m 64, let alone 94! And I hope I can get as a big a kick out of it as Alice clearly did.


  7. Alix Land Says:

    Glad you all had so much fun! I love looking at Alice’s reactions. So glad she is still able to read, even if it takes two super bright lights, a magnifying glass and glasses. Happy Valentine’s Day a bit belated to you and Alice and Meg.


  8. diane Says:

    good one, kids


  9. Heide Hendrick Says:

    I love it!


  10. Kim Patton Says:

    What fun! Maybe Mr. Hefner will pay Alice a real visit.
    Why not? After all, kd lang did.


  11. alancahn Says:

    Andrea– if you find someone who knows Hugh… and then let him know KD visited Alice I am sure Hugh would not want to be outdone by her. Maybe a gift for BD number 99……………

    Katharine- If I am here and can speak or write when you are 98 I will tickle your sense of humor… that’s a promise.


  12. Vanessa Says:

    Great story, way to go Andtea. Alice is so lucky to have such a fun and clever daughter.


  13. Bunny Deana Says:

    I came across this and I must say, it’s very clever, very inventive and very funny. Well done to all concerned. I do hope you won’t mind if I add something that’s sort of connected.

    It’s now more than 40 years since I was Bunny Deana at the London Playboy Club, and I was sipping champagne with Hugh Hefner in the Playboy Mansion, and yet here we are and still he continues to get a mention in the news. Something is obviously keeping him going…
    If anyone is interested, I have a collection of original (and now historic!) Playboy Club photographs online at Bunny Deana Photo Album.


  14. Cheryl Says:

    Of course we are all hoping that in KD Lang fashion, Hugh’s people catch wind of this teasing and that he requests a visit with Alice to assuage her concerns. No, not massage. Assuage. (Big smiley face!)


  15. Shelley Carlisle Says:

    Hysterical Andrea…you were naughty !! I just loved this. Alice is looking so much like my mom in these photos. Miss them both.


  16. Nancy Nusz Says:

    So fun…so glad you two were up to dirty tricks as you sure created a great smile on Alice’s face! Love your posts, helps to keep memories of my mom close to my heart


  17. Brilliant Andrea! Love the smile on Alice’s face too :-)


  18. John Says:

    Wonderful! Such wonderful friends you have!


  19. Alice herself, k.d.,
    and real playboy bunnies? All these clever readers and commentors? You do keep the most interesting company, Andrea!


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