Alice’s Miracle Caffeinated Cleaner

March 19, 2014

Last night Alice called to say she’s discovered the answer to dusty mirrors and oh, so much more.

She’d been sitting quietly thinking about nothing much for a while, she said, when she pulled her hand mirror from the top drawer of the desk next to her La-Z-Boy. She claimed the little mirror was so dirty she couldn’t see her face.

“How dirty could a mirror that stays in a drawer possibly be?” I wondered.

“Maybe some of that problem could have been my eyes,” she admitted.

She wanted to clean the mirror so she could see herself better, but she didn’t want to get up, go to the kitchen, bend over and root around under the sink for a bottle of Windex.

“Why not try some coffee?” she asked herself.

She dipped the corner of a piece of Kleenex into the coffee she’d been drinking and rubbed the tissue hard on the mirror. Then she wiped it off with a dry piece of Kleenex.

The result was thrilling. “What a difference!”

“Then,” she said, “I started looking for other things I could use it for. I thought well, I’ll try it on my glasses, and so I did and my, they just shine!”

“You’re very inventive,” I said.

“Wait, I’m not done. I looked down at my shoes and thought they could use a lift, so I switched from Kleenex to a small towel, and I put one end of the towel into the coffee, got it good and wet, and then wiped my shoes with it. It did wonders for them. They look better than when I bought them.”

Since she got them at Goodwill, this might have been an easy-to-come-by improvement.

“It’s just wonderful,” she said. “I’ve been cleaning everything around here. My glasses are so clean now. There’s no fog on them at all. At least I don’t think so.”

She’d used Folger’s instant coffee. “Do you have any on hand?” she asked. “You should try it.

I don’t have coffee of any kind in the house, but maybe you do and would like to give this a shot.

Ever since Alice told me about her very own make-up recipe, I probably shouldn’t be surprised by her ability to find a new use for anything, let alone coffee because that was a key ingredient in the make-up, too.

But actually I’m always amazed by her. in cup




shiny black flats

I can’t get the video to embed for some reason, but I highly recommend: London Swing Orchestra “You’re the Cream in My Coffee”

26 Responses to “Alice’s Miracle Caffeinated Cleaner”

  1. Bonnie Babcock Says:

    She missed her calling as a brilliant chemist! I love the way her mind works! You go, Alice!!!


  2. Sandra Y. Espinoza Says:

    Awesome…and as for the music: A little lindy jive anyone?


  3. Meg Glaser Says:

    Look out Starbucks! Alice and Folgers are onto something big. I love how not wanting to get up and dig for glass cleaner can lead to such creativity.


  4. I am very impressed. Alice should write all her tips in a book :-)


  5. Alice the Alchemist! Maybe she can turn something into gold now?


  6. 37paddington Says:

    I’m going to try it! Alice is a wonder.


  7. Cheryl Says:

    This story reminds me of a children’s story that I can’t recollect at the moment, or maybe it’s Helen when she discovers the link between language and water. At any rate, it is delightful and inspiring to know that a creative mind can remain a creative mind long into one’s 90’s. I love how easily entertained Alice is with her life, and how she creates her own entertainment by acting on her thoughts.


  8. Buddhacrone Says:

    Aha! another cool cleaner to add to my go-to white vinegar/water. Alice, you are wonderful!


  9. Buddhacrone Says:

    Just tried this on my ancient black leather slog-around-in-the-mud boots. It worked perfectly. I’ll never have to buy shoe polish again! Can Alice play CDs? I’d love to send her a couple of kd lang favorites I love.


    • That’s so kind of you, but Alice can’t hear music any more. She liked meeting kd. She was a favorite back when she could hear and she actually was the one who told me about kd back in the 1980s. Thank you so much for the offer, though.


  10. Vanessa Says:

    Maybe Alice should have her own show. She is a marvel of invention. I also love how good she is at entertaining herself and all of us.


  11. It’s amazing what miracles happen when you’re too lazy to get out of your chair. I love reading these, Andrea. Alice reminds me so much of my mother and all her antics.


  12. Gordon Says:

    Headed to my local Starbucks car wash right now!


  13. John Says:

    …..I’m guessing the coffee smell is better than the smell of most cleaning products.

    Though, I use cream in my coffee, which might make things smell kind of bad after a few days… all the dairy, you know?


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